An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much time at the pub, so one night he took her along. “What’ll ya have?” he asked. “Oh, I don’t know. The same as you, I suppose,” she replied. So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniel’s and threw his down in one gulp. […]
Where do Martians drink beer ? At a mars bar !
How do barmen surf the web? On the Gin-ternet.
Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut. After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley’s head. “How you like it?” asked the barber. “Real fine,” said the redneck. “But how ’bout making it a little longer in the back?”
A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, “Would you like to dance?” The girl says, “I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you.” The guy says, “I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants.”
A Scotsman is sitting in a bar in Cuba and is minding his business when a man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, “Hey […]
A Russian walks into a bar and orders a beer. “That will be one ruble,” says the bartender. “One ruble!” the customer protests, “last week it was only fifty kopeks!” “Well,” replies the bartender, “it’s fifty kopeks for the beer and fifty kopecs for the perestroika.” Reluctantly, the customer gives the bartender a ruble, and […]
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of pregnancy in the world. Proceed with caution.