God vs Satan

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.And Satan created McDonald’s, and McDonald’s brought forth the $3.20 double-cheeseburger, and Satan said to Man, “You want fries with that?”, and Man said, “Super size them.”And […]

Did you ever wonder?

Can you cry under water?How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?Why do you have to “put your two cents in”…but it’s only a “penny for […]

Final Examination

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an […]

Had too much Christmas cheer?

1. You know you have if you… notice your tie sticking out of your fly. 2. Someone uses your tongue for a coaster. 3. You start kissing the portraits on the wall. 4. You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier. 5. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off. […]

Chinese and Spielberg

A Chinese man walks into a bar in America late one night and he seesSteven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, “You Chinese peoplebombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here.” The astonished Chinese […]

A Son’s Love

An old man lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work.His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison for bank robbery. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.Shortly, he received this reply,”For HEAVEN’S SAKE Dad, don’t dig […]