How do you know a Brigham Young student’s been mowing the lawn? The welcome mat is destroyed.
Why do University of Arkansas graduates tape their diplomas to the windshields of their cars? So they can park in handicapped spaces.
Teenage Driver: But, officer, I’m a college man. Policeman: Sorry, but ignorance is no excuse.
An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school. “Tell me,” inquired the interviewer, “where do you expect to be ten years from now?” “Well, let’s see,” replied the student. “It’s Wednesday afternoon. I guess I’ll be on the golf course by now.”
Q: How can you tell Bill Clinton apart from a cow? A: By the wise look in the eyes.
College meals are generally unpopular with those who have to eat them and sometimes with good reason. “What kind of pie do you call this?” asked one student indignantly. “What’s it taste like?” asked the cook.” “Glue!” “Then it’s apple pie the plum pie tastes like soap.”
“Now my motto in life,” said the school chaplain, “is work hard, play hard and pray hard. How about you, Harriet?” “My motto is let bygones be bygones.” “That’s good. Why did you choose that?” “Then I wouldn’t have to take any history classes!”
A college friend was going to meet a young lady he new. “An old flame? I asked. He winked and said, “More like an unlit match.”
Q: What do college students and deer have in common? A: They both stand in the middle of the road and stare at your headlights.
The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. […]