An applicant was

An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school. “Tell me,” inquired the interviewer, “where do you expect to be ten years from now?” “Well, let’s see,” replied the student. “It’s Wednesday afternoon. I guess I’ll be on the golf course by now.”

College meals are

College meals are generally unpopular with those who have to eat them and sometimes with good reason. “What kind of pie do you call this?” asked one student indignantly. “What’s it taste like?” asked the cook.” “Glue!” “Then it’s apple pie the plum pie tastes like soap.”

“Now my motto

“Now my motto in life,” said the school chaplain, “is work hard, play hard and pray hard. How about you, Harriet?” “My motto is let bygones be bygones.” “That’s good. Why did you choose that?” “Then I wouldn’t have to take any history classes!”

The female dormitory

The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. […]