Sam was on

Sam was on his death bed, and his wife and children were gathered around him. Suddenly the aroma of chopped liver filled the room. Sam perked up a bit and said to his wife, “That’s it, one last time before I die I must have some of your delicious chopped liver.” Sam’s wife looked at […]

A woman goes

A woman goes into a funeral home to make arrangements for her husband’s funeral. She tells the director that she wants her husband to be buried in a dark blue suit. He asks, “Wouldn’t it just be easier to bury him in the black suit that he’s wearing?” But she insists that it must be […]

A Packer fan

A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field, until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was. The guy said, “Yes, that’s my wife’s seat. We have never missed a game since […]

A woman goes

A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. After the editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, she pauses, reflects and then says, “Well, then, let it read ‘Fred Brown died’.” Confounded at the woman’s thrift, […]

Andy: “Doc, I

Andy: “Doc, I had the worst dream of my life last night. I dreamed I was with twelve of the most beautiful chorus girls in the world. Blondes, brunettes, redheads, all dancing in a row.” Doctor: “Hold it, Andy. That doesn’t sound so terrible.” Andy: Oh yeah? In the dream, I was the third girl […]

Phoning the florist

Phoning the florist to order some flowers for her lover’s funeral, woman was caught off guard when asked what message she wanted on the card. “Message?” she sputtered. “Well, I guess, ‘You will be missed.”‘ Visiting the funeral home, she was pleased that her floral tribute had arrived but mortified that the card had her […]

This elderly Newfoundland

This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed and summons his 3 sons to his bedside. “Well boys, the time is near, and when I pass I’d like to be buried at sea.” So the boys agreed. A few days after his passing, the local front page read, “Local Fishermen Were Shocked Today When Their […]

An English guy

An English guy was very ill and his son went to visit him in the hospital. Suddenly, the father began to breathe heavily and grabbed the pen and pad by the bed. With his last ounce of strength he wrote a note, dropped it, and died. The son was so overcome with grief that he […]