How are you feeling?

|Farmer Brown decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court, the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Brown. “Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’?” asked the lawyer.Farmer Brown responded, “Well I’ll tell you what happened. […]

Horse pulls the car

|An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy.He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull.” Buddy didn’t move.Then the farmer hollered, “Pull, Buster, pull.” Buddy didn’t respond.Once more the farmer commanded, “Pull, Jennie, […]

Mother-in-law killed

|A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship. All to no avail though, as she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes, […]

Try to grow chickens

|A New York City yuppie moved to the country and bought a piece of land. He went to the local feed and livestock store and talked to the proprietor about how he was going to take up chicken farming. He then asked to buy 100 chicks.”That’s a lot of chicks,” commented the proprietor. “I mean […]

Eat the watermelons

|A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch and upon inspection he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation. So he puts up a sign that reads: “WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!”He smiled smugly as he […]

Amazing talking cow

|A man’s car stalled on a country road one morning. When the man got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him. “Your trouble is probably in the carburetor,” said the cow.Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road until he met a farmer. The amazed man told the […]

Politicians accident

|Politicians accidentA bus load of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer’s field.Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.A […]

Ploughing the land

|A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some […]

Texan farmer travels

|A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large”. Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off […]

Very hostile farmer

|A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled.The farmer said, “That’s once.”A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again.The farmer said, “That’s twice.”After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again.The farmer didn’t […]