A Drunk Scottsman

There was a scottsman and he was too drunk to walk home from the bar. He decides to lay down a park bench and sleep. Tomorrow he would walk home after he was sober. In the morning two little girls are walking by to go to school when they see he is wearing his kilt. […]

Jonesie The Great Lion Hunter

A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders senta message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give himits hide. Draping the […]

Three guys are in a plane, lost in fog…

Three guys are in a plane, lost in fog, and they don’t knowwhere they are. The first guy says “I’ll find out” and putshis arm out the plane, then brings it back in and says”We’re just over Paris””How do you know” ask the others”Well I’ve just felt the top of the Eiffel tower.”Later on the […]

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in…

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York Cityrestaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmenseated there are furiously masturbating.She yells, “What the hell do you guys think you are doing?”One of the Japanese men explains, “Can’t you see? We areall berry hungry.”The waitress begs the question, “So, how is […]

The wedding is off…no on!

All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple. Waiting for things to get started, they were somewhat shocked to see the bride’s father storm up the aisle, jacket off,sleeves rolled up, and obviously very angry. “The weddin’s off,” he shouted, “Everybody bugger off!” Dismayed and muttering, […]

The Pope vs. the Queen

The Pope and Queen Elizabeth were standing on a balcony beaming at thousands of people in the forecourt below. The Queen says to the Popeout of the corner of her mouth, “I bet you a tenner that I can makeevery English person in the crowd go wild with just a wave of my hand.”The Pope […]

A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel…

A tourist, visiting a small town in Israel, came upon a statue dedicated to “The Unknown Soldier”. At the base of the statue, a sign was displayed: “Here lies Seymour Ruthenberg”.The tourist inquired of one of the locals how was it possible an unknown had a name.The resident replied, “As a soldier, that Seymour was […]