There were two guys working for the city. One would dig a hole — he would dig, dig, dig. The other would come behind him and fill the hole — fill, fill, fill. These two men worked furiously; one digging a hole, the other filling it up again. A man was watching from the sidewalk […]
One idiot said to the other, “You know, there are really only three kinds of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can’t.
What is the biggest ant in the world ? An elephant !
QUESTION: Why does the town idiot take his bedroom door off the hinges and put it to the sid every night when he goes to sleep? ANSWER: Because he’s afraid someone would look through the keyhole.
Two newfies walked into a pet store. The first says “I want four budgies.” Salesman-certainly sir, would you like two male and two female or all male or all female? Newfie-I don’t care. I just want 4 budgies! Salesman-certainly sir, what color would you like? We have yellow, blue, gr… Newfie – I don’t care […]
Q: Have you heard about the Irish abortion clinic? A: There’s a 12-month waiting list.
Q: Did you hear about the 25 Irish people that drowned? A: They were riverdancing.
After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic. My boss said, “Really? Where is Monosyllabia?”. Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia. He replied, “Oh, you mean over by Croatia?”
Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month – a short in the homeowner’s newly installed fire prevention alarm system. “This is even worse than last year,” said the distraught homeowner, “when someone broke in and stole my new security system…”
A student in Belle, West Virginia was suspended for three days for giving a classmate a cough drop. School principal Forest Mann reiterated the school’s “zero-tolerance” policy…not to be confused with the “zero-intelligence” policy.