Desire Matures

When I was in jr. high, all I wanted was a girl with large breasts.In high school, I dated a girl with large breasts, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl.In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency, she cried all […]

Some thoughts for today…

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability […]

Slammin ’em down!

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, “Give me six double vodka.”The barman says, “Wow! you must have had one hell of a day.” “Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.”The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.When […]

Yo Momma Jackpot!

Yo mama’s like…- Yo mama’s like a T.V., even a two-year-old could turn her on. – Yo mama’s like a bowling ball. She’s picked up, fingered, thrown in the gutter, and then comes back for more. – Yo mama’s like a rifle…four cocks and she’s loaded. – Yo mama’s like a bubble gum machine…five cents […]

Chain letter for men!

This chain letter was started by a gentleman in the hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discouraged men. Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost anything.Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented. Then bundle up your wife or girlfriend and […]

Tough Stuff!

A new mortuary in a tough mill town decided to advertise in an unorthodox fashion, and so draped a banner on the front of their building that read:”Our Staff will stuff your Stiff.”Not to be outdone, the madame across the street had her girls respond with a banner too:”Our Stuff will stiff your Staff.”

Mad Cow Disease

There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields.The first cow said, “I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm.” The other cow replies, “Hell, I ain’t worried, it don’t affect us ducks!”

Name That Ranch

A New York family bought a ranch out West where they intended to raise cattle. Friends visited and asked if the ranch had a name.”Well,” said the would-be cattleman, “I wanted to name it the Bar-J. My wife favored Suzy-Q, one son like the Flying-W, and the other wanted the Lazy-Y. So we’re calling it […]

Why, why, Tell me WHY!

WHY ? …… 1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? 5. Why do […]

Gulf War Remembered!

Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common ? A. Nothing, yet.Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ? A: Turkey.Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common ? A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common ? A: They both […]