Q: Two musicians are walking down the street, and one says to the other, “Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?” A: The other replies, “That was no piccolo, that was my fife.”
Q: How do you get 2 piccolos to play a perfect unison? A: Shoot one.
Q: What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won’t blow away? A: Root position cords.
Q: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A: A flat minor.
Q: How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: It’s not a bulb, it’s a globe.
How do you make a bandstand? Take away their chairs
An eight-year-old kid says t his dad, “When I grow up, I want to be a musician.” The dad says, “I am sorry — can’t have it both ways.”
A saxophone is like a lawsuit. Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
Hey buddy. How late does the band play? About half a beat behind the drummer.
Did you hear about the classical pianist who was not a good speller? When she went out to buy something she left a sign on her door that said: “Out Chopin. Be Bach in a minuet”