What’s worse than being raped by Jack the Ripper?Getting fingered by Captain Hook!
What did the impatient helicopter say to its clumsy mechanic?”Chop chop.”
Three fellows walking along the beach noticed a mermaid sitting on a rock swishing her tail in the foam. The first man waded out to her and said, Hello mermaid! Have you ever been kissed?” She replied, “no sir!” So he kissed her quite thoroughly and asked, “Did you like that?” “Oh, indeed I did, […]
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it.So I said “Implants?”
A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?”The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.””What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter.”My ex-wife” replied the hunter.
A lady swallowed a super Gillette razor blade and her doctor discovered that not only had she given herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy and a hysterectomy, but she had also castrated her husband, circumcised her lover, taken two fingers off a casual acquaintance, and given a vicar a hair lip.And, there were still 5 shaves […]
What’s pink and slowly turns red?A baby chewing a razor blade.
Two guys are susposed to meet at 4:30. Charley shows up at4:30 and waits. Finally, at almost 5:00, Paul shows up andCharley says, “Where have you been? You’re a 1/2 hour late.”Paul replies, “Sorry, I had to go to the dentist. My dick’sbeen hurting bad.”Charley says, “If your dick’s been hurting, why did you goto […]
A young man was staying on a farm with his uncle and aunt for the summer. One morning the aunt and uncle walked in the kitchen and the young man was drinking an extremely large glass of milk. The young man said “I tookthe liberty of milking your cow this morning!” He then continues and […]
Once upon a time there was this guy who bought a hang glider and took it out to the mountains to fly it. He was cruising along a few hundred feet above the treetops when he spots these two hunters down below.He hollers and waves at them, trying to be sociable. Suddenly the hunters look […]