Your mounted deer head sports a baseball cap and sunglasses.
The primary color of your car is “Bond-Q.”
Your mother does not remove the marlboro from her lips before telling the state patrolman to kiss her ass.
You grow your sideburns longer and fuller because it looks so good on your sister.
Less than half the cars you own run.
Your junior-senior prom had a day-care center.
Someone asks to see your I.D. and you show them your belt buckle.
You go to a stock car race and don’t need a program.
You prefer to walk the excess length off your jeans rather then hem them.
Your lifetime goal is to own your own fireworks stand.