A push

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s half past three in the morning.”I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. “Aren’t you going to answer that?” […]

Great roof

A rather well proportioned young lady, Joan, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of the hotel.She wore a bathing suit the first day but, on the second, being a naturist, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan.She’d […]

Royalty and W

At Heathrow Airport in England, a 300-foot red carpet was stretchedout to Air Force One and President Bush strode to a warm but dignifiedhandshake from Queen Elizabeth II.They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London wherethey boarded an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificentwhite horses.As they rode toward […]

The price is right

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for a weekend to gamble. He lostthe shirt off his back and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round-trip air ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the […]

Communication problem

There was this Asian lady married to an American gentleman and theylived in Honolulu. The poor lady was not very proficient in English,but managed to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn’tknow […]

Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses…

Six guys were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five complete theirplaying time standing up.Roberts looks around and asks, “Now, who is going to tell the wife?” They draw straws. Rippington, who is always […]