MUMMY VAMPIRE: Jimmy, hurry up and drink your soup before it clots.
How does a girl vampire flirt? She bats her eyes.
Why do vampires hate arguments? Because they make themselves cross.
What do you call a vampire junkie? Count Drugula.
What’s Dracula’s car called? A mobile blood unit.
What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot? A bite in shining armor.
Which flavor ice cream is Dracula’s favorite? Vein-illa.
Why are vampire families so close? Because blood is thicker than water.
What’s a vampire’s favorite drink? A Bloody Mary.
Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with his finger up his nose? He was a ghoulsnif fer.